Protected: Personal Drama

While I classify myself as being a relatively sharp guy, not prone to allowing myself to be sucked into stupidity, I feel like suck a sucker right now. I’m pretty wrapped up in Trisca right now, and while I feel no shame in feeling how I feel, I feel less than intelligent in remaining in a relationship under this relationship’s current paradigms. We’ve been seeing each other for several months, and during the early part of the relationship things have been perfect. She cares for me, her daughter loves me to death, and I’m really into both of them. So you’ll understand that I’m rather taken aback by the fact that out of the blue, turmoil and drama come up from an outside source.

See, what had pretty much happened was, we had made plans to spend some time together on Memorial day weekend. I get an call at work on the Friday before Memorial day with Trish telling me that she’s sorry but our plans have been somewhat sidedtracked. When I asked what was up, she told me that one of her old boyfriends from Michigan decided to make a guest appearance and he’d be crashing at her place for a few days. I’d dealt with a similar situation as this when her daughter’s father made HIS guest appearance when we’d first started dating, so I figured I could wait out a few days. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. Honestly, he’s STILL THERE NOW. Now, when I say I’m feeling this girl, I don’t mean that lightly in ANY sense. I could see something permenant coming of this. BUT, obviously after about 2 weeks of Jerron’s being there, I was understandably upset. She told me that it was a finance thing, that he owed her money, and he was there to pay her back. Here’s the things that make that story hold up a little less… firmly though. Trish moved into the apartment about a week before I met her, and got her phone number about a month and a half after that. So, how’d he track her down from Michigan. Phone number is one thing, but address? Especially if she didn’t WANT him coming there? If he didn’t have the money to give to her, why didn’t he come out at a time closer to when he’d get the money? Why the hell did he bring his SON with him to stay at her place?

So anyway, I was getting really freakin fed up, but I had personal issues of my own by late June, like a seriously bad wisdom tooth issue. I left work early one day, and since Trish recently had a tooth yanked, I figured I’d give her a call, and find out who her dentist was. I figured she was at work, so I’d try to leave her a message. I call her place… he answers the phone. I leave the message with him, and hang up. About 5 minutes later he calls back and tells me that Trish told him to tell me she doesn’t want me calling her place anymore, “You, know how it is”. Obviously I’m livid. Not because I BELIEVE that she said that, but because he had the audacity to tell me something like that. It told me 2 things.
#1. He wanted my woman.
#2. He felt he was in a position with her that he could make such a demand of me.

Now, I’m extra vexxed, ’cause in my opinion, for a dude to have that kind of mental position, that he could make a statment like that to some girl’s man, means he’s fuckin her. Any person on my sounding board pretty much agreed with me on that statment. It got EXTRA complicated, because this conversation happened on a Tuesday… and she didn’t call me again until Saturday. I blew up the text messaging on her cell phone, sent her emails and instant messages, but I wasn’t going to call… just in case it was a true statement. So, I take it upon myself to see her at work on Saturday. Conveniently enough, my boy calls me on my cell, and tells me that she’d just called the house, so I figure I’m doing a good thing going up to see her. I clear my head, get my prayer on, and realize that I care about this girl enough to wait, provided she handles her business. I hit it that night… I barely fit, so I was happy. But here we are, a month after THAT, and business isn’t quite settled. Shit feels even more wrong now than before… she doesn’t call me from her house, and when she does, he’s out. The email and IM doesn’t happen anymore… unless he’s out. She rarely comes by to see me, and pretty much always has the wee one with her (not that that’s a terrible thing, I love that little girl). We’ve only had sex once more since then, and it wasn’t quite the same (though I could be imagining things, and she was a lot hungrier for it than usual). And even though her parents are supportive of us (they’ve taken us out to dinner and such), they always look at me like they’re sorry for me. I’m willing to be patient, but honestly, I just feel fuckin stupid right now. I’ve got other options, there are potential “cut buddies”, and I’ve even got one out there that’s in love with me, and wants me to herself… I really don’t know what to do anymore.

I’ve prayed to God for patience, and that’s the only reason I’ve made it this long. I just feel that that supernatural measure of patience is passing its time, and now it’s time for me to figure out what I’m going to do next. God, I just need help in this decision process…