True Emergence

There are certain things that can spur on a change in the mentality of a person. Things like, death, ambition, love, God. One of those grades of things has happened to me recently, and I feel like something of a transformed man.

I found out I’m going to be a father.

Fortunately, T is a lot better at this than I am, so she’s taking it all in stride, registering gifts at Babys R’ Us, and just chattering to her mother in a manner that sounds to me more like an adult in a Charlie Brown cartoon. I’m awestruck, dumbfounded, flabbergasted… and probably a lot more words like that which I don’t get to use too often. As the fact of the matter settles in on me, I’m realizing that I’ve really got to know what it is that I stand for, what I believe, and know that I can’t be shaken from those things. I can no longer afford to act as an adult male… I’ve got to become the MAN that God said I was to be.

Three years ago, I was in a position similar to this, and if that were a test from God, I failed it miserably. While God released me from that situation (DNA testing is a beautiful thing), the man that emerged from the other end of that ordeal was not demonstrative of the man that I want to present before God. It wasn’t the man that I presented before God’s people. I failed myself as well, but now I have a chance to do right by myself and my LORD, and be the leader he created me to be.

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2 thoughts on “True Emergence

  1. This is something you’ve wanted for the two years since I’ve known you. You’ll do fine (after a while) as a daddy! I have complete faith in you! :-). There are a lot of adjustments you’ll have to make personally, but, when you look at your new son (I know it’s a boy! ) you will happily make the right choices. Just remember…a child can’t live on “TOYS” alone. ha ha ha.
    P.S. I took a peak at the registry…I should learn how to leave some things alone!

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