Moving on – Aftermath

The hardest thing about breaking up on good terms with someone is when they start to move on with their life.

Case in point, my ex A and I broke up because there was a plateau point in our relationship, and after apoing there was no where left for it to go. I still love her, but my moving on was a necessity. She didn’t like it, and still doesn’t but she’s dealing with it as well as she can, even though she still has feelings. Between the religious differences, age difference, and the fact that she’d already started and pretty much finished her family, it was necessary for me to go.

So why am I finding myself seriously jealous that she’s found someone else to spend her time with? I had lunch with her today and she was telling me about J4. I call him J4, because she seems to have a thing for guys whose names start with “J”, that were born in the same 12 month period (late 76, early 77). While I want her to be able to move on and be happy, I think I’m partially jealous because I know she’s a loving and giving person, and she’s great at taking care of someone she loves. That and she’s absolutely astounding in bed.

I’ve moved on with my affairs, found someone else, and have a child on the way. Still I feel like such a hypocrite, because I told her she should just let go and get over it, and now I find that it’s not quite so easy to do.


2 thoughts on “Moving on – Aftermath

  1. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your feelings. I think that whenever the dynamics of a relationship changes the period of adjustment can sometimes be painful to either or both parties. Just remember the joy you are experienceing now and what kinda joy you would want for A. I recently found out that the dynamics of a friendship of mine was purely onesided but I hope that my friend has all the joy this world can bring him. It is wonderful for someone to love and be loved. Even if we want to be the ones to provide that I think it shows great maturity on your part not to try to take advantage of her emotions for you. I commend you on your restraint from going to the familiar even when it can be scary getting deep into a relationship like you are. Part of ourselves will always look back and wonder what might have been but the logical side of us has to persevere and remember that the past is just that….the past. I hope you enjoy your family and remember your past with fondness and keep from doing anything to sabatoge a good thing. Feeling your heart, J.

    *I’d have almost sworn this was the same “J” I was jealous over, but my blog isn’t really that circulated yet.

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