I’m not one to steal people’s content, so I borrowed this from my pahtna on BP, Finisher
Without Further ado…
10 Things a Woman Should Know About Black Men
1. No matter how hard you try . . . you CANNOT CHANGE A MAN !
So many times, you hear about women believing with all of their hearts, that they can change a man by introducing him to new things, or taking him to church, or trying to dress him, etc. I hate to tell you this, but some of you ladies need to stop believing all that crap you see on TV or read in those women`s magazines. The fact remains that a man WILL NOT CHANGE until he is READY TO CHANGE. There are thousands, possibly millions of women today who are in horrible relationships . . . but continue to hold on to this belief that eventually their man will change. Too $hort once said that “you can`t turn a hoe into a housewife”. The same goes for men who are dogs. That change has to come within that man . . or by God interveining in his life. Until that day comes, quit trying to be Mrs. I Can Change My Man.
2. Home cooking is essential to keep your man`s attention on you.
I know that with women in the workplace, that women are spending less and less time in the kitchen. Well, show me a woman who doesn`t cook on the regular, and I`ll show you a woman who is likely to be single. This is not to say that a woman`s place is in the kitchen, but I am saying that a woman with those culinary skills will have something else besides sex to keep her man around. Don`t let them Hot Pocket microwave cookin heffas tell you that you don`t have to cook for your man. There`s nothing wrong with cooking for your man. Cooking is a signal to your man that shows him that you care about him . . . just like a man cuddling and romancing you and sending you flowers on non-special occasions shows you that he cares about you. And yes, the man can do the cooking too. But don`t be the one *bleep*fuses to watch mama in the kitchen, then wonder why that huzzy down the street got your man. Maybe she`s cooking a roast for your man right now, while you`re nagging him to go out to eat at Chili`s every other night.
3. Every man is NOT a dog.
It`s not that man`s fault that your decision making leads you in the direction of knucklehead men all the time. Good brothas are right in front of your faces at times. Some of you tend to keep them as friends because you are not sexually attracted to them ( or as Chris Rock says . . in the Friends Zone ). Some of you honestly wouldn`t know what a good man was if he had an “I`m a Good Man” sticker on his forehead. For those who can spot a good man, that`s great. Teach your sisters what to look for in a man, outside of what he looks like, drives, or his monetary portfolio.
4. Some men will NEVER become a man because of the lack of a positive male role model in his childhood.
Ladies, talk to your men when you start dating him and see if he had a strong male role model in his life when growing up. If he didn`t, chances are that you may have some problems down the road. If your favorite man learned about being a man from his boys off the street or from his mother`s bad boyfriends, he just might not be the one for you. They just weren`t taught how to be a man. And ladies, you can`t teach your man to be one either. So stop trying to do that too.
5. Your man might succumb to temptation, if you keep running your mouth to your girlfriends and family about how good he is to you.
Let`s face it, some of you women tell your friends everything. And then, when your man happens to cheat on you with your friend, you wonder how could they do that to you. Well maybe you should`ve kept your big mouth closed. The worst thing a woman ( or a man ) could do, is to tell their SINGLE girlfriend or boyfriend, about the state of their relationship. When people get into arguments, that gives that lonely SINGLE friend the perfect opportunity to see if what you have been saying about your man is correct. It`s not a coincidence that cheating is usually done with a close friend or a family member. Granted, a man should be strong enough to avoid temptation IF ( and that`s a big IF ) he truly loves you. But don`t give your friend or family some information that could eventually be used to stab you in the back.
6. Most men love sports . . so learn to love it too . . or at least show a passing interest.
Some of you women know the advantage of knowing something about sports. For those who don`t, you better start learning fast. Even if you don`t like watching sports, start doing it just to have one more thing you can talk about with your man. You`d be amazed how many men find a woman knowing a little bit about sports, sexy as hell. And just think ladies . . your man may just decide to take you to the game or to that sports bar to watch the game, instead of hanging with the fellas. Any advantage you can get in the struggle to keep your man, is a good one.
7. His friends are important to him . . don`t try to make him choose between them and you.
Some of you have to realize that your man`s friends have been around way longer than you have. So it will be hard for your man to just give up his friends and spend all of his time with you. Give your man the opportunity to hang with the boys without you being around all the time. That`s called SPACE ladies. As corny as this may sound, male bonding is still an important part of being a man even after he is grown. Now if his friends are putting him in situations that may cause a major riff in your relationship ( i.e. – going to see the scrippas, driving home drunk from the club, etc ) then of course you`ll have to step in and say something. But if he`s just playing cards, watching the game, or playing PlayStation 2 with the fellas, don`t trip out over that. Only trip out if he`s doing all of that, and not doing anything with you.
8. We are not damn mind readers, so tell us what you are thinking and what you like.
My father was not Yoda, so I can`t read your dang mind. For the most part, a man can`t see the big picture unless that picture is right in front of his face. That means that if you dont s-p-e-l-l it out for us, we probably won`t pick up on it. Even during sex, you better tell your man what you like and what is working for you. If you don`t, he`ll thnk everything he`s doing to your body is just fine. Just make sure that you communicate to your man exactly what you want.
9. If you have to say “I love you” in order for him to say “I love you” . . . he doesn`t love you.
I don`t know how many times I`ve heard a female say . . “but he buys me clothes, takes me out to eat, and plays with my baby . . and he tells me that he loves me . . so he must love me.” What they don`t tell you is that most of the time, they`re asking that question: “do you love me?”. What is the man`s response to that question supposed to be? “Naw baby, I just like hittin that?” Putting your man on the spot with the “I love you” question, is the quickest way to end up havingyour heart broken. Don`t make a man lie to you with questions like that. And stop saying that you love a man after like 4 weeks ofdating. You don`t love him . . you lust him. And if you gave up the “gushy” during that time frame, you probably love the way he makes you feel during sex. That`s not love . . . that`s being whipped. Remember ladies, if a man loves you, he doesn`t need a set up question in order for him to say that to you.
10. Constant criticizm of black men does not help bridge the gap between men and women.
In order for things between black men and women to get better, the first thing each side has to do is be honest about themselves. It`s easy to criticize a man for not doing what he`s supposed to be doing. But you also have to acknowledge the good men in that segment who are doing great things, including taking care of their kids and loving their women unconditionally. Honesty is admitting that some black man, for the most part, have not stepped up to be the type of man that he needs to be. Honesty is admitting that some women consistently make poor decisions on who they choose as possible mates. Women who constantly label men as dogs, will only drive away the few good men that are available to them. That`s when you`ll be stuck with whatever you can get to holla at you.
Don`t hate me because I tell the truth