Go LaLa

I see her smile, and do her little manipulative tricks, and part of it upsets me, how she has me wrapped around her finger, and she doesn’t speak english yet.  I was totally unprepared for the effect that Elana has on me.  I’m used to being transient, taking on responsibilities at leisure, almost as if responsiblility itself was optional, but this little girl has caused me to completely revamp my outlook on life. I’m glad that I still remember my childhood, and how certain aspects of it affect who I am now. That way I know how to say what I should say to build her up, and get her to appreciate the things that matter. I want her to recognize how beautiful she is, that she’s smart, that it’s okay to take risks and chances. I don’t want to be like her mother, and OVER protect her, but I’m sure that Trish thinks that I let too much stuff happen to Elana, that I’m not protective enough. I’m sure the proper balance is somewhere in the middle. Everyone tells me I should be afraid when she gets older, but strangely enough, I’m not. I’m fostering a relationship with my daughter that will let her know that I trust her decisions, with the knowledge that she possesses up to that point. I’ll be her biggest supporter, but when the situation comes and she’s doing something she knows she shouldn’t, I’ll be her worst advsersary as well. She’ll know how it feels to succeed, and she’ll do it on her own steam… Or at least, so goes the plan. We’ll see what happens when this little girl turns heads and breaks hearts, and gets to do all the little things daddy never quite figured out in time.



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