Well, after more than a week, I get another hour with Xian. I’m wondering how the courts view this as equitable or useful for promoting a meaningful relationship with my son. I’m at least thankful for the fact that he recognizes me when he sees me. In fact, his face lit up like a kid at the circus when he saw me. I absolutely loved his smile. At the same time, it’s increasingly frustrating that I only get to see him as SHE allows. So if she’s tired, or she’s got plans, or she just doesn’t feel like going out on a specific day, I’ve got to deal with it and wait until allowing me to spend time with my son fits into her schedule. And when I DO get to see him, she dominates my time with him, dictating what she’ll permit me to do with him and how I should do it.
I trust God to be in control, but something has to change. Being a parent isn’t just an event driven thing, and that’s all I’m getting. I want the opportunity to do the ‘parent’ job… changing diapers, sitting with him when he’s sick, bath-time… I’ve never been allowed to bathe my child! Dealing with runny noses, or bedtime. Like I said, something has to change, or else my role in my son’s life is going to be marginalized, and eventually I’ll just be pushed out… because his mother doesn’t find it convenient.