Truth be told, yesterday was something of a crap day. I mean, nothing in particular made it particularly disastrous or anything, it’s just that for a little while there, I lost my hope. Lost hope, meant lost joy, and lost joy meant lost focus. Let’s be straight up. I miss my son. I only get to see him whenever his mother has free time to allow me to do so at the moment, so if me spending time with him is inconvenient for her, then the gathering is rescheduled. Couple that with the fact that in order to see him, I have to spend time around her too… and though I’m committed to forgive her, I do need something of a cooling off period.
Of course, what happened is that I allowed the enemy to whisper in my ear, and like an idiot, I chose to believe him. True sign that I haven’t been spending the time in the Word that I need to. I’m practical though. Find the problem, and then you can find the solution. I was being lied to by the enemy. He told me that there’s no way I’m going to get any victory in court when it comes to Xi’an. After all, they already don’t listen to what I say, but any lie she cooks up gets pored over and considered. The situation as it currently stands already leans in her favor, in that Xi’an has bonded to her, whereas I’m more or less “the guy that’s there when mommy takes me out”. I could easily become discouraged if all I look at is how she’s winning.
But God. I guess he recognized what I was going through, and had me be reminded of the TRUTH, which is the only thing that can stand against the lie. “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. (Isaiah 54:17)”. I didn’t say that. HE did. So it’s not my job to make that happen. I just keep doing what needs to be done, and permit the LORD to show Himself strong.