It’s generally a well-known fact that the family court system is somewhat skewed toward women. In all honesty, it’s generally my gender’s own fault. Since time immemorable (for me at least), the general purpose of the family court system has seemingly been to get fathers to have some simulation of involvement in the lives of their child, whereas most fathers that I’ve seen involved in family court have used the system as a means of trying to get back at the women with whom they were formerly involved. Thus, I find myself in something of a pecadillo. I find myself accused of something I didn’t do. There’s no evidence indicating that I’ve actually DONE the thing of which I’m accused, however I might as well have been convicted because I’m being forced to pay the requisite penalty of the crime.
I’m becoming increasingly infuriated because I love my kids. I can’t even come up with a sufficient adjective to describe how much I love them. But, end result, even though I committed myself to being the father of 3, I only have one child. And even then, I’m denied the opportunity to be his parent. It took (takes) considerable effort to rewrite one’s mentality in order to stop being a single man and become a father. I took that effort, and in the end, the ground got kicked from under me. A lesser man would take that as an excuse to stop caring, and view this as an excuse as to why one should never completely invest himself in a relationship. I’m not a lesser man. I’ll be honest, this hurts like HELL. The dead space I feel inside is indescribable. I’d rather have lost an arm and a leg than be going through what I’m experiencing now. But, this is the reality in which I’ve found myself. It effin’ sucks. The only thing there is to do is find out where the ground is, and build again from there.
I can either keep on moving through this tunnel toward a light on the other end, or I can sit where I am and complain that it’s dark. The choice is mine.